December 13, 2024 
My friend’s seven-year-old asked Santa for a pony this year.
When she told me this request was on her child’s Christmas list, my friend and I both let fly a thick layer of expletives more suited for an aircraft carrier than a tiny red sleigh.
“Great, one more thing for you to take care of,” I retorted, thinking of the mountains of responsibilities facing most moms.
The pressures and lack of support for parents have become so unmanageable that the United States Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, released a Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents earlier in 2024. I love ponies, especially naughty Shetlands, but I didn’t really want to add anything else to my buddy’s infinite to-do list.
Once off the phone, I realized that my reaction would have disappointed seven-year-old Gretchen—the Gretchen who also dreamed of a pony. The Gretchen who drew horses on every slip of paper she could find, memorized the names of horses in movies, and biked miles to find a velvet nose she could touch over the fence.
Adult Gretchen, however, is a horse owner. My blood runs on equines and espresso. Even if I ache for those kids with thwarted dreams, I am here to write a permission slip excusing every parent who can’t or doesn’t want to get a pony this holiday season.
First, while it may sound dreamy to shop for that perfect horse, the experience can be rather dark and is fraught with potential pitfalls. Without a vet check and the assistance of an experienced trainer, finding the right steed is a challenge, to say the least. Most equestrians have experienced the wrong horse at the wrong time, but it is heartbreak I wouldn’t wish on a child.
The other truth is that many kids lose interest in horses as they get older. This leaves the adult with the painful task of figuring out what to do with a flight animal that seems hardwired for injury, is expensive to keep and can live well into their 30s.
The inverse is that there are kids like me. Even though I didn’t get a pony, my obsession with horses has been harder to kill than that elderly donkey at Girl Scout camp that survived a wildfire after refusing to get on the evacuation trailer.
Lots of other interests have peppered my life: art, music, literature, nature, and swimming. I have also seen the best and the worst of a life with horses. Nevertheless horses are what I think about when I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning.
Encouraging a love of horses is a good thing. Time spent with these quadrupeds teaches responsibility, empathy, impulse and emotional control, and many other valuable skills that stand out in the era of screens. In fact, horse riding was the first recorded treatment for ADHD. So, if you are considering that Christmas pony or, better yet, if it has already been purchased, I am thrilled! But there are also many other excellent options for getting kids involved with horses that do not require owning one, including lessons, volunteering, and camp.
Still, I promise that you will not crush your little ones’ dreams forever if you say no to all of them.
Yes, Charlotte Fry won her first Olympic medal in dressage at 24 in 2020, but Arthur von Pongracz got one in the 1930s at the age of 72. Beezie Madden didn’t compete at her first Olympics until she was 40 and she has a complete set, including two golds. Many sports claim that age is just a number. In equestrian sports, it is actually true.
And if push comes to shove, you can blame Santa…
One year, he actually tried to give a pony to everyone who asked. It was an utter fiasco. The reindeer almost went on strike after the elves hitched an industrial-sized gooseneck to the back of the sleigh. The stench of nervous poo from the ponies made it impossible to sneak around from house to house. Most of them had never flown before. And the moms and dads were upset when even the best-behaved ponies in Santa’s fleet couldn’t resist raiding a stocking full of candy!
So the next year, Santa sighed, turned to Mrs. Claus, and said, “I am leaving Ponies to the professionals. From now on I will stick to Breyers.”
