Horse Play

11 Things I Look for in a Horse (and a Man)

Turns out, the things I look for in a horse are disturbingly similar to what I look for in a man…

1. Athletic


I’m just sayin’, a few toned muscles never hurt anyone.

2. Stamina


Let’s be honest, I’m not perfect so I’m probably going to need two rounds.

3. Confidence


I have a lot of insecurities that you both are going to need to help me overcome, ok?

4. Takes a good picture


As a general rule, I don’t take a good picture* so I need my horses and men to doubly compensate for this.

5. Low maintenance


If we could all try not to get sick or injured that would be super.

6. Available


No sense falling in love with a man or a horse when the seller isn’t selling.

7. Well-defined haunches


For, reasons…

8. Good personality


No explanation needed here.

9. Forgiving


I’m likely going to put my horse and man in several compromising positions, hopefully both know how to take a joke.

10. Nice manners


Shouldn’t bite or kick me…maybe just a little biting…ok, some biting is fine.

11. Big heart


Yeesh, look at me getting sappy in my old age.

*Editor’s note: The photo below suggests Heather might need to get her eyes checked.

heather struthers and roseAbout the Author

Heather Struthers runs Ontario’s hippest tack shop, Performance Horse & Rider and writes about important issues like datingpretend boyfriends and Scott Brash.

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