Did you watch the debate last night? Did you learn a lot? Were you inspired to be a better American?
The first 2016 Presidential Debate was filled with cheers, jeers, and awkward rejoinders. Occasionally, everything was confusing (The red team wore blue! The blue team wore red!). At the end of the night, you may or may not have been chomping at the bit to go out and vote. But at least you had fun watching.
On the other hand, we can only guess that off camera, Lester Holt spent much of his evening crouching beneath his moderator’s table for cover (not that we blame him). Issues such as education, climate change and immigration may have mostly fallen by the wayside, at least this time around (debate #2 is scheduled for October 9th). But the keen observer can always find a few good takeaways, even if they’re primarily horse-related.
So, without further ado, here are 10 things horse people could **learn** from last night’s debate.
1. "Mr. Sniffles" would make an excellent show name for a pony.
So would "Trumped Up".
2. Red pant suits should follow the same rules as red show jumping jackets.
You have to be selected for the U.S. team before you can wear one.
3. Bad round? Terrible lesson? Screaming pony kids?
4. Don't sit at home eating and hacking America from your couch.
Get out there and go riding.
5. When your husband asks, "How much did that show bridle cost?"
Just tell him the receipt is under audit. Or that you deleted the email.
6. There's no place for anger when you're communicating with your opponent.
Or when you're training a horse.
7. As soon as they teach 112 beginner lessons, negotiate a sale deal, put on a show at the farm, and spend 11 hours talking pony moms down off the ledge...
Then politicians can talk to horse trainers about stamina.
8. Confused as to why you didn't place in that class? Is your horse spooky or lame and you don't know why?
Call your trainer. Then your vet. And if that fails, maybe Sean Hannity.
9. There's no reason to fight about giant walls.
Unless, of course, they're puissance-related.
10. Picking at your horse on the way to a jump is basically picking at your opponent while he/she is answering a question.
It's rude and it prevents everyone from doing their jobs properly.