Surgeon General: “Horse Sports Are Addicting, Promote Financial Instability”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This week, the United States Surgeon General released its landmark “Surgeon General’s Advisory on Horse Sports,” which declares that participation in horse-related activities is not only extremely addicting but can lead to serious financial consequences for participants.

“At the Surgeon General, we are fully supportive of any and all recreational activities that promote physical exertion and which can help to reduce America’s staggering 41.9% obesity rate,” read the report.

“However—and this is a big however—participation in horse sports seems to be accompanied by a host of negative consequences that many experts feel outweigh its benefits.”

According to the Surgeon General, research has shown that jumping a clear round, running a perfect barrel pattern, or earning a high score on your dressage test can cause a “brain spike” of adrenaline that can be as addicting as opioids.

It’s a high many participants chase “like hamsters on a wheel,” the Surgeon General says, logging thousands of miles a year driving back and forth to barns, horse show circuits, and training events. Riders routinely sacrifice sleep in order to rise before the sun to care for horses in all manners of weather, returning to the stable to complete night check long after the sun sets.

“There is clearly an addictive nature at play here, which causes participants to obsess about every aspect of their sport, long after they’ve left the barn. They scroll social media for memes that help them feel understood, or news on the successes (or failures) of their fellow equestrians.

“As you’d expect, the stress of these demands—physical, mental, and social—takes a toll. Riders frequently self-medicate with caffeine in the morning and chardonnay at night, just to get through the day.”

Even more concerning, however, are the financial ramifications of horse sport, with more than 75% of participants reporting that they “always” feel overextended.

“Lessons, board, farrier and vet bills, let alone the fees that accompany the competitive aspect of the sport. These can create a constant fear of financial ruin among riders who always feel that they are behind in their finances,” explained the Surgeon General.

“In fact, the most common write-in response we received on one of our surveys was, ‘Money in, money out.’

“That’s not a pleasant state for anyone to be in, let alone someone trying to participate in what should otherwise be considered a fun and healthy recreational activity. We usually see this kind of all-consuming obsession sometimes leading to self-detriment among groups such as Candy Crush players, Swifties, and Celsius drinkers.

“They call this the ‘sport of kings’ for a reason, and I think what we’re seeing among participants in equestrian is concerning on a number of levels,” he says.

At this point, the United States Surgeon General is not recommending a complete prohibition on horse sports in 2025, but advises participants to “proceed with extreme caution” when signing their horse-crazy child up for that first summer camp or pony lesson.

Reported the Surgeon General, “Some bells cannot be unrung.”

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