What’s in a name? ONLY EVERYTHING.

1. Stormy: wants to be a wild horse. Requires a bucket of grain to be caught in the paddock.
See also: Storm, Snow, Wind

2. Socks: not the brightest, but aims to please. Loves to be loved.
See also: Boots

3. Buddy: endlessly patient. Spends hours carting kids around on leadline pony rides.
See also: Pal, Partner

4. Lightning: loving but a bit mentally unsound. Goes into fits of bucking for no apparent reason.
See also: Flash, Sparky

5. Nugget: a name of extremes. This horse is either worth his weight in gold, or a total turd.

6. Lucky: the ideal kid’s horse. Puts up with everything under the sun except for hunger; known to drag his rider across the ring to get at a few blades of grass.

7. Belle: tough and sturdy. Excellent chance of outliving you.
See also: Bella

8. Blackie: owner lacks imagination.
See also: Red, Goldie, Brownie

9. Shadow: is basic.
See also: Midnight, Onyx, Blaze

10. Major: stoic and rigid. Never gets excited to see you, no matter how many times you greet him with treats.
See also: General, Colonel, Captain

11. Moses: saintly by nature.
See also: Sampson, Micah

12. Apollo: has delusions of grandeur. Known to bang on the stall door to demand treats.
See also: Zeus, Athena, Artemis

13. Honey: a natural fatty. If grass intake is not monitored, will quickly become obese.
See also: Sugar, Fudge, Cookie

14. DD: lazy. Needs the big spurs.
See also: BB, CC

15. Lily: a delicate flower. Spooks at small noises and is prone to unexplained cuts and scratches.
See also: Rose, Petunia, Tulip

16. Fox: prone to lifelong identity crisis.
See also: Kitten, Hawk, Rabbit

17. Rocky: not very smart.

18. Hershey: spoiled rotten. Poor manners.
See also: Reese, Cadbury

19. Misty: aka, old faithful. Won’t get worked up about riding by a construction zone but will occasionally spin you off just to keep you from getting complacent.

20. Ranger: great on trails.
See also: Rover, Jimmy

21. Birdie: short attention span. Very easily distracted by food, noises and other horses. Sometimes forgets there is a rider on her back.
See also: Robin, Raven

22. Dusty: loves kids, good for any discipline.

23. Cherry: sweet and cuddly. Affectionate. Full of energy and likes to go fast.
See also: Apple, Clementine, Kiwi

24. Whiskey: owner is an alcoholic.
See also: Tequila, Kahlua, Jager

25. Spice: sassy. Usually a mare that hates other horses and pins her ears when she gets curried. Careful when doing up her girth.
See also: Cinnamon, Ginger, Pepper

26. Romeo: very smart, a little rude. Thinks humans are a slave race that exists to serve him.
See also: Hamlet, Macbeth

27. Mischief: requires electric wire running all the way around the paddock, because if she finds a weak spot in your fence then she gone. Double chain her stall if she has a half-door because she will figure out how to get it open. Sometimes poops in her water buckets if you come to the barn late in the morning.
See also: Missy, Sassy

28. Bob: as reliable and cantankerous as your old grandfather. Needs to be reminded regularly that he is not in fact a human being.
See also: Bill, Tom, Jack

29. London: the perfect unicorn when he feels like being good, otherwise a monster. A nightmare to load into to the trailer.
See also: Paris, Sydney

30. Lady: would trade you or any other human in a heartbeat for a handful of cookies.
See also: Duke, Duchess

About the Author

Morgan Withers is a professional groom on the “A” circuit who has been there and done that and then done that and been there some more for good measure.