30 Lies Grooms Tell Their Riders

Home > Blog > Horse Play > 30 Lies Grooms Tell Their Riders

We all know honesty is the best policy. Lying is wrong.

However, every groom knows that sometimes, a rider doesn’t actually want to hear the truth from the hired help. Here’s 30 lies grooms may feel obligated to tell their riders.

2. You rode really well. The judge just didn’t like you.

3. You rode really well. You’re right, you just need a different bit.

4. That rail wasn’t your fault, he spooked at something in the corner.

6. Sure, yeah, maybe it’s performing badly because it’s body sore. It’s not your riding.

7. She was an angel to clip.  She didn’t try to kick me once.

8. She was quiet on the lunge, not fresh at all.

9. I wasn’t late leaving. I’m just breathing like this because it’s hot. We didn’t sprint here.

11. I didn’t mind staying until 10:30 last night with the vet, it was no problem at all.

12. Yes, I did the stretches today.

13. Sure, I’ll take her for one more handwalk even though its the end of the day.

14. Sure, I’ll oil all your tack tonight.

16. I did notice that cut. I was just waiting to see if you were going to notice it too.

17. You’re right, that person only beats you because their horse is more expensive.

18. No, of course I never hit him.

19. Yes, I love him just as much as you do.

21. Sure, I’ll give him a whole bag of carrots when we get back to the barn.

22. No, I don’t think you spoil him.

23. I didn’t want a day off this week anyway.

24. Tired? No, I’m fine.

26. It doesn’t bother me that you texted me at midnight to remind me you were riding early. It’s fine!

27. It doesn’t bother me that you didn’t text me at all to tell me you were riding early. I’ll just stop what I’m doing and get the horse ready now!

28. I’m not annoyed that you didn’t show up when you said you were going to.

29. I didn’t mind holding him for 45  minutes waiting for you to get on, I wasn’t busy.

About the Author

When she’s not sharing hard-won #groomtruths, Brooke Nicholls works as a professional groom in Canada.

Sports & Racing

April 6, 2020

Kathy Kusner, Equestrian Rebel

Kathy Kusner is celebrated in American history for her show jumping prowess. Born in 1940 to a family of modest means and zero horse connections, she was an unlikely candidate...
April 3, 2020

Confessions of a Polo Groom

Polo: the game of kings. We've all seen it depicted on TV at some point—gorgeous horses galloping madly after a tiny white ball, players swinging cane mallets, while spectators clad...
March 27, 2020

3 Online Horse Shows to Help Fill the Self Isolation Hours

The [horse] show must go on online! COVID-19 restrictions have led to the cancelation or rescheduling of competitions nationwide. But, a new trend is rising in their absence—online horse shows....

Haru Urara: Japan’s Lovable Loser

"Winning isn’t everything; it's the only thing."  Henry Russell Sanders, UCLA Bruins Coach 1950 “Do your best” Ganbatte (Japanese) Ever since Commodore Perry’s “black ships”—so-called because they belched black smoke...
March 24, 2020

Canceled by COVID-19: How Event Organizers Are Coping

COVID-19 restrictions have led organizers to cancel equestrian competitions and other events nationwide—but at what cost? We caught up with Derek Braun, founder and president of the Split Rock Jumping...
March 18, 2020

Horseracing Has a Place in America’s Challenging Times

Sporting events have long served as a comfort in difficult times and racing is no exception. It was 1945. The Allies were still in the midst of World War II...