Last night on The Bachelorette romance was in the air—as was the distinct waft of manure (and it wasn’t necessarily coming from the horse barn). You don’t need to be a fan of the show to appreciate the tomfoolery that was this week’s equestrian-themed episode. Last night, JoJo and company headed to Argentina, a land whose tango and rich gaucho culture have been inspiring visitors for generations.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, JoJo and her first date, Alex, began by distilling this proud, storied tradition of horsemanship down to its very simplest form: giving your pup a belly rub. Things fall apart rapidly from here. When it’s their turn, JoJo and Alex (who is “in a sense of enlightenment”) decide to lay down on the horse too and then make googly eyes at each other while enjoying some truly awkward small talk. Whether it’s JoJo or the horse that’s feeling the most awkward in the moment, it’s hard to say.
When it’s their turn to do some horse whisperin’, JoJo and Alex (who is “in a sense of enlightenment”) decide to lay down on the horse and make googly eyes at each other while enjoying some truly awkward small talk. Whether it’s JoJo or the horse who’s feeling the most awkward in the moment, it’s hard to say.
— SB Nation (@SBNation) July 12, 2016
Our money’s on that poor gaucho on the right.
Later on, Alex mispronounces “gaucho” and finally makes good on his evil plan to kiss JoJo—ON TOP OF THE HORSE—and it’s as icky and gross as you might imagine. Everyone is freaked out, except for maybe the “goocho”, who is busy spending his big, fat, ABC check on new chaps and booze in his mind.
Thankfully, none of us will have to endure any more horse kisses from Alex, because **SPOILER ALERT** JoJo promptly sends him packing at the end of their date.
Here’s what the internet had to say:
— Dana O'Neil (@ESPNDanaOneil) July 12, 2016
— Claire Scatter (@ClaireScatter) July 12, 2016
If I were editing that JoJo/Alex breakup, I'd have intercut a shot of that Gaucho dropping that horse in one, swift move. #Bachelorette
— Aaron Ginsburg (@DrLawyercop) July 12, 2016
this horse on the bachelorette rn
I don't watch the Bachelorette, but I don't think they should've killed this horse https://t.co/OlQZ50CirO
— Cassie Grimaldi (@CassieGrimaldi) July 12, 2016
Alas, Alex packing his bags still didn’t spare us from that second terrible horse date, when JoJo takes her one-on-one with…Matthew? Mark? Luke? Oh, who cares. In case you don’t want to watch the clip, we’re including a brief synopsis of how things went below. Please enjoy.
JoJo: “What does that mean?”
Cowboy Bachelor: “She just got a bug in her nose.”
JoJo: “Ohh, she’s just cleaning it out?”
Cowboy Bachelor: “Mmm hmm”