Horse Play

30 Lies Grooms Tell Their Riders

We all know honesty is the best policy. Lying is wrong.

However, every groom knows that sometimes, a rider doesn’t actually want to hear the truth from the hired help. Here’s 30 lies grooms may feel obligated to tell their riders.

2. You rode really well. The judge just didn’t like you.

3. You rode really well. You’re right, you just need a different bit.

4. That rail wasn’t your fault, he spooked at something in the corner.

6. Sure, yeah, maybe it’s performing badly because it’s body sore. It’s not your riding.

7. She was an angel to clip.  She didn’t try to kick me once.

8. She was quiet on the lunge, not fresh at all.

9. I wasn’t late leaving. I’m just breathing like this because it’s hot. We didn’t sprint here.

11. I didn’t mind staying until 10:30 last night with the vet, it was no problem at all.

12. Yes, I did the stretches today.

13. Sure, I’ll take her for one more handwalk even though its the end of the day.

14. Sure, I’ll oil all your tack tonight.

16. I did notice that cut. I was just waiting to see if you were going to notice it too.

17. You’re right, that person only beats you because their horse is more expensive.

18. No, of course I never hit him.

19. Yes, I love him just as much as you do.

21. Sure, I’ll give him a whole bag of carrots when we get back to the barn.

22. No, I don’t think you spoil him.

23. I didn’t want a day off this week anyway.

24. Tired? No, I’m fine.

26. It doesn’t bother me that you texted me at midnight to remind me you were riding early. It’s fine!

27. It doesn’t bother me that you didn’t text me at all to tell me you were riding early. I’ll just stop what I’m doing and get the horse ready now!

28. I’m not annoyed that you didn’t show up when you said you were going to.

29. I didn’t mind holding him for 45  minutes waiting for you to get on, I wasn’t busy.


About the Author

When she’s not sharing hard-won #groomtruths, Brooke Nicholls works as a professional groom in Canada.

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