August 20, 2024 
I grew up a Millar.
Show jumping is our family business. From my first breath, I’ve had a front row seat to the best in the business.
I watched my dad win World Cup Finals and compete at Olympic Games after Olympic Games. And I watched a lot of great female riders do the top sport too. Like Beezie Madden, the breeze. She made it look seamless. Like she’s controlling the horse with her mind.
One thing I didn’t see growing up is many moms in the Grand Prix ring.
If you look back at the top female riders in the generation before mine, most didn’t have children. That’s probably true of career women in general at that time.
But here’s the thing, I still don’t see many of them now.
Moms are a minority in the Grand Prix. There aren’t a lot of us, so we got a little club. We all cheer for each other. We support each other. It’s awesome when the mummies do well, because I hope that more female riders won’t feel like they have to choose between being a professional athlete and being a mom.
I hope that they understand that you can do both. And that if you want kids, it’s 1000% worth it.
But I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy. It’s not.
Anyone in this industry will tell you that horse sport is a lifestyle, not a job. Horses are all-consuming, and I love it. But I also have a family, I have children, I have other responsibilities and other things that I enjoy doing. So, sometimes, giving up the time and the energy for those things and giving it all to the horses is challenging.
For sure, I feel that as a mom.
We carry a lot of the responsibility when it comes to the kids. Whether it’s because we put it on ourselves or whether it’s coming from the outside, it’s hard to determine. I do know this: I hate not physically being there for them, you know?
Leaving the kids to go to a horse show is the hardest part, every time.
I mean I do it all the time—we travel so much. A lot of the time, my kids come with me and that’s awesome. But every time I have to pack my bag and get dropped off at the airport or drive down the laneway without them, it’s like the first time.
You have that moment where you’re just like, I don’t know if this is a good idea?
And then you get to the show, and it’s amazing, and you watch your kids grow up and sort of start to get their own lives and realize that they’re totally fine.
People tell me—and I have to I remind myself of this all the time—that I’m setting a wonderful example, especially for my daughter, on chasing your dreams and fighting for what you want.
And for my son too. I hope that I’m teaching him that women have a place at the table. That women can be ambitious and high achievers and also be good mothers.
But being apart from them never gets easier so you better know why you’re doing it.
For me, it’s the horses. It’s always been the horses. Competition is amazing, but appreciating these animals and forming these partnerships is what it’s really all about. And understanding that the horses are king (and queen!), and we are there to serve them. I think that if people take that attitude, then they will have longevity in the sport, and the sport will have longevity in the world.
My kids are obviously the most important thing in my life and they’re what makes all of this worthwhile—on the good days and the bad days.
On the good days because I think that I’m making them proud. And on the bad days because I know there’s more to life than having a rail or two in a Grand Prix.
And at the end of the day, that’s a healthier balance.
Healthy sport, to me, is when you’re doing it because you love it. When you’re doing it the best you can, but you have to have a certain level of acceptance that you may or may not win.
If you’re not winning, you’re learning. To me, that’s healthy—and hopefully it’s a good example for my kids.
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