In honor of the incoming year of our lord of good horses, 2023.
- I will wear my airbag vest during every ride.
- I will be on time for my lesson (within a 10-ish minute window).
- I will not hijack the left rein.
- I will not hijack the right rein.
- I will limit horse show chardonnay intake to 2–3 glasses on show nights.*
- I will clean my tack after every ride (saddle too).
- I will not lean up the neck at oxers, terrifying everyone in sight.
- I will provide a coffee cake from the horse show food truck for my horse at every show as a thank-you.
- (I will not eat half of that coffee cake walking back to the show stalls.)
- I will attempt to count numbers while walking courses with my trainer, not just pretend.
- I will attempt to ride those numbers decided upon while in my class.
- I will not freak out at bending lines.
- I will not freak out at bending lines (redux)
- I will make sure my air bag vest is clipped in without being reminded by barn staff/trainers.
- I will make sure my air bag vest is unclipped without being reminded by (panicked) barn staff/trainers.
- I will not think, Don’t pull! And then instantly pull.
- I will not spend money on pretty, new, unnecessary items, including but not limited to: show coats, show shirts, fancy boutique riding sweaters, belts.
- I will create a 2023 Horse Show Budget spreadsheet, fill it in, and stick to it.**
- I will not bother my trainer with unnecessary requests (i.e. videos of my horse at night check) at unnecessary hours of the day (i.e. 8 p.m. or later; 7 a.m. or earlier) more than once a week.
- I will not go off course. Each time I do, I will provide my trainer with a nice, expensive bottle of wine.
- I will not take the long one. I will not take the long one. I will not take the long one.
- I will not say the words “I can’t” to my trainer.
- If I do slip up and say, “ I can’t,” I will immediately quantify that statement more specifically. (I can’t jump that high over that jump; I can’t get the lead change in this direction today; I can’t promise I won’t throw up before my derby class on Sunday, but the Adults on Friday should be fine.)
*Does not include happy hour.
**Does not include possible Indoors qualification, in which case, all bets are off.