Last Friday, Georgina Bloomberg made headlines on Gawker after she decided to weigh in publically on the alleged feud between Chelsea Clinton and Ivanka Trump. Perhaps unsurprisingly for an outlet that peddles snark with the same deft, prolific efficiency that McDonalds does Big Macs, Georgina’s story was less than complimentary. Here’s a snippet:

“Rumor has it the contentious 2016 presidential election is tearing apart famous acquaintances Chelsea Clinton and Ivanka Trump. ‘I am also here!!!’ says Georgina Bloomberg, who is, in typical horse-girl fashion, trying to make it all about her.”

The piece continues…

“Why is [Georgina] talking about it instead of living her best life, as a horse girl? Again, I have no idea. Generally, ‘she’s into horses’ is all you need to know,’ Gawker writer and resident expert Allie Jones explains.”

Now Gawker has to do Gawker, and as a billionaire heiress and Grand Prix show jumper, Georgina Bloomberg, I’m sure, makes a tempting target for journalistic ire. But whatever her faults of birth might be, Georgina is one of our own. And an attack on one horse girl is an attack on all horse girls.

So, Gawker, instead of pulling the typical “horse girl” card and making this all about us, we’ll make this all about you. Here are 14 reasons why you are SO TOTALLY WRONG about Georgina Bloomberg and, by extension, horse girls everywhere.

1. As horse girls, we may spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. But we only get to that after all our grooming is done…


2. And our bathing too…


3. There are endless stalls to muck.


4. And plenty of horses to feed.


5. Not to mention all the watering…


6. And the aisle sweeping that first needs to take place.


7. And we certainly don’t know how to roll with the punches.


8. We’re always ready for our closeup, because we spend endless hours on our hair and makeup.


9. Our “best horse girl lives” are totally superficial.


10. We’re all only in it for the money, fame, and glory.


11. (And, of course, looking damn good in our riding clothes.)


12. So thanks, Gawker, for setting the record straight on horse girls.


We’re glad you’ve got us all figured out.