Practical Horseman recently published a list of things to avoid when seeking a boarding barn. It caused an uproar in the instructor/boarding world, because everyone loves barn drama!

Thankfully, The Rider’s Closet created a VERY SCIENTIFIC checklist to run through before you join a new barn to determine if you are The Worst Boarder in the Barn.

1. Your horse needs 10 supplements every morning ground up in his own, special coffee grinder.


2. Sure, most horses only need to be shod every 6 weeks, but you and your gelding have a standing pedicure/farrier appointment every Sunday.

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3. You film every training ride, dub it with commentary in your best George Morris voice, then post it to Horse Collaborative.

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4. You install blackout curtains on your horse’s stall.

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5. You hold a seance to summon the Gods of flying lead changes in the barn aisle before each horse show.

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6. To hide your shopping addiction from your office, you ship all your online purchases to the barn.


7. You don’t “believe” in fly spray, so you request that the grooms rub organic fly-repellant oils all over your mare before each turnout.


8. Your horse’s companion animal is another horse.


9. You bring stage lights, a photographer and your entire extended family to the barn for a Christmas card photo shoot.


10. Your shower at home is broken so you stop by the barn to use the wash rack and the barn’s entire supply of Mane & Tail.