We all know that documenting life’s major events—getting engaged, getting married, having a baby—is almost as important as living them.

Naturally, these moments are meant to be shared with our nearest and dearest, and for many of us, that’s our horses. But there’s a right and a wrong way to include your Trakehner in your engagement shoot, and (we’re going to take a stand here) probably no reason to include him in your pregnancy session.

Assuming you choose to do so anyway, here are a few guidelines. Get ready, it’s about to get awkward.

1. Every stable photo runs the risk of being ruined by a bored palomino.

The yawners are gonna yawn. And maybe crib.

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2. Your horse is already coming between you and your fiancé.

There's no need to document it.

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3. Bring snacks for the shoot. Otherwise he'll find his own.

His choice runs at $125 a pop.

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4. Size matters.

Find a matched pair of ponies for the shoot.

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5. It's not a wedding without at least one photobomb.

That's why it's called horsin' around.

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6. Did the sonogram say you're having a peppermint?

This horse seems to think so.

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7. Your horse has a sense of dignity all his own.

Let him keep it.

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8. When you ride in a dress, you ride at your own risk.

And some ponies just don't do chiffon.

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Watch the entire bride get bucked video here.