My boyfriend (bless him) has been nothing but supportive of my horse habit. Despite an eyeball-scratching allergy to horses, he pops Reactine and goes on the odd trail ride with me. He flew to a remote northern town in Mongolia to meet me at the finish line of the Mongol Derby. And he just smiles and nods when I say, at least once a month, “Don’t kill me, but I just spent another $200 at the tack shop.”

But the reason I really appreciate him is his unintentionally hilarious observations of the horse world. My man is a fount of truth that we riders are too afraid to speak aloud.

Here then, are his words of wisdom.

1. On illogical early mornings...

AlarmClock

2. On horse show etiquette...

LawnChairQuote

3. On grooming...

BuckBraids

4. More reasons grooming is pointless...

MaxPower0815

5. On the underwhelming aspects of a basic dressage test...

DressageQuote

6. On providing moral support...

Jump

7. More moral support...

Booing

8. On the waiting to riding time ratio...

Stopwatch

9. On the revelation that horse shows are a bad investment...

MoneyMoney

10. On the refreshment situation...

beer