Germany Holds the Line, Becker Takes a Bath

“They’ve got magnums!”

The camera is trained on the German Team, who’ve just hopped off the top of the podium, magnum bottles of champagne in hand, and accosted their chef d’equipe, Otto Becker, with a dousing for the record books.

Within minutes, it’s all over social media. Champagne showers this is not—more like a champagne bath, a champagne flood, a champagne tsunami!

World number one Richard Vogel has Becker’s arms pinned back while Jörne Sprehe, double clear aboard her stallions Toys, empties the whole of her magnum bottle onto Becker’s head with a frenzied glee that borders on the pagan.

Meanwhile, Sophie Hinners takes a swig.

But how did we get here?

The first round of the Longines League of Nations Final had Germany at the top on a zero score, followed by Belgium on one time fault, and Brazil in third on a score of four. USA was in fourth with a slower four-fault time.

The second round made it clear the top three teams were not willing to give up much, while the other countries solidified their standings by adding anywhere from 20 to 4 faults.

(As an aside, a mention must be made of Team Italy, who started the second round in dead last place with a slow time and a score of 16. They came back and threw down three magnificent clears to move themselves up from 9th to 5th—grand performances that unfortunately came too late.)

Brazil, going into the second round, wasn’t giving an inch. Three clear rounds, Rodrigo perfecting his first round four faults (first fence down) to a clear.

Belgium went from 1 time fault to a score of 5 with Emilie Conter’s rail of the middle of the triple.

The last rider of the second round was no less than the world number one Richard Vogel aboard that deliciously charismatic stallion CLOUDIO.

(CLOUDIO is always spelled in all caps and his name is spoken aloud with brio to reflect that.)

All Germany needs is a clear round from Vogel and they’ll win the whole thing and move to the top of the podium, where they can start watering Becker with champagne like he’s a sprig in the garden suffering the effects of a drought.

CLOUDIO enters the ring. CLOUDIO motors confidently around the course. CLOUDIO knocks the back rail of the black oxer and sends it scuttling to the sand.

“Another fence and it goes to Brazil!” shouts the commentator.

“Another fence and it goes to Brazil—as if!” says CLOUDIO, chancing a small rub going into the triple combination just for fun, and clearing the rest of the course like a dream.

Brazil and Germany are tied at four and we have a jump off!

“You gotta choose Richie,” says the commentator as the riders and chef d’equipes conference in the warmup area.

“You gotta choose Richie, don’t you? I know he’s just had a pole down…”

You have to choose Richie. Not only because he’s world number one and not only because he doesn’t know slow and not only because CLOUDIO, but also because—he owes us! He owes all of us a redemption arc after that silly black oxer bullsh**. If you’re going to edge us all, you don’t shunt the job of bringing it all to a climax onto some other guy!

Brazil chooses Pessoa.

Brazil has the slower overall time by five seconds, so Rodrigo and his mount Major Tom are up first.

Unbelievably, they repeat the same mistake from their first four-fault round by knocking the first fence!

It’s over before it’s begun, but Rodrigo maintains the pressure by blitzing the rest of the course to settle into a time of 39.48.

Now Richie must decide. Jack-Whitaker-on-a-Friday-night the course, adding three time faults to slide in just above Pessoa or attack with speed in case a fence comes down?

Entering the ring, Vogel has what looks like a smirk for just a moment, but it disappears quickly as his game face asserts itself.

“What would Otto Becker have told him?” wonders the commentator.

Oh, he’s going!

He’s going and he’s fast and tight, but he adds a stride before the pesky black oxer and a pause before the double, time being on his side, but not too much, he heads to the last, a big oxer, and rolls the back rail almost to the ground.

Almost.

He’s clear! His time is 40.85 and Germany has won the day!

And Otto Becker has rivulets of champagne running from his head down to his feet!