November 1, 2022 
The only thing more comical than seeing the New York City public at a horse show, wearing their slick, high fashion ensembles, is hearing the convoluted equestrian jargon comes out of their mouths.
“I feel like you’d make a majestic rider, with your tights and long hair flowing in the wind,” a gentleman said to his wife.
As if her extensions (which were down to her Lululemon covered knees) wouldn’t be wrangled into ponytail, forced into a hairnet and shoved under a helmet in the name of elegance.
“I like the racehorse breed better. They are much bigger and more muscular,” said another, whilst Margie Engle’s Dicas marched towards the warm-up arena.
For the most part I’ve learned to be unbothered by cringeworthy comments when they strike my ear, a babble of unicorn fantasy language. Truthfully, we need spectators if we want to live our dream of seeing show jumping take over the Sunday night slot on ESPN and aren’t trying to gate keep our arenas. That’s the FEI stewards job.
There was one conversation, though, that was harder to laugh off. On a Sunday morning, while walking towards the show grounds on Governors Island, I heard a little boy point to a collection of rusty storage units in what was clearly an industrial area say, “Mom! This must be where the people live!”
Of course, for a small child it was an innocent, albeit wildly erroneous observation. He had a whimsical look in his eyes, as if he had peeked behind the curtain of a theater. It was cute, and I flashed him a grin as he skipped along the chain link fence.
I waited for his mother to correct him, considering this corner of park was clearly sequestered for garbage control and inhospitable for life. The storage units didn’t have windows, and the dumpsters? No roofs.
“Yes, the groomers do live there,” she said definitively. “But NOT the riders. They have to stay somewhere nice.”
Part of me wanted to interject and tell her that most riders care enough not to sardine their grooms into storage units. Especially 5* grooms, most of whom I spoke with were staying at a glittering Hilton on Wall Street. But the issue with her comment went far deeper than the groom’s accommodations at the LGCT New York. It represents a lack of respect for people who work “behind-the-scenes” jobs. How do you educate someone on everything that’s wrong with that in thirty seconds?
Sure, grooming is often not glamorous and I’m no stranger to the intrusive thoughts that creep in after slipping into the manure bucket or being dragged through the mud by a horse who spooked at wind. What am I doing here?
I remember talking to my aunt about a particularly hard day. She said to me, “You have to remember that every job is important. No matter what, honest work is always dignified.”
Grooms are just as human as their riders, and most top professionals do value their grooms as integral team members. But the comment got me thinking about why respect is not a guarantee to begin with. Personally, I’ve been lucky to work some amazing jobs for fair and grateful employers, but not every stable was that way.
Like any job, it is a spectrum.
As a waiter you can work in a Michelin star restaurant, or you can work in a dusty dive on the verge of being shut down for health code violations. The same goes for grooming.
There is no dismissing that it can be a fruitful career path for the motivated equestrian. At 18-years-old I was already living independently, owned a horse that tagged along to shows every now and again, and had a car to drive. While I didn’t have any extra money laying around, even the “beginner” grooming jobs offered far more security than any of my friend’s entry level jobs did.
As your skills develop new opportunities reveal themselves, and plenty of upper level grooming jobs offer benefits like health insurance, dental or assistance with visas if you are international. If you work hard and are lucky enough to land one of those roles you’ve essentially made it, but these perks are still not standard in our industry.
Nor are the working conditions.
I’ve learned that job listings advertising things like “accommodations included” doesn’t always mean acceptable accommodations. If your boss or client couldn’t stand to spend a single night somewhere they expect you to set up house and home, it’s a reliable sign that something is not right.
One apartment I was housed in had an infestation of wolf spiders, so I got the chance to live out my nightmare as an arachnophobe. Did you know that wolf spiders are burrowing spiders? Neither did I, until I found them snuggled up in my bedsheets and nesting in my laundry.
I sheepishly brought it up to my employer a few times, but it was always brushed off as a later problem. Months went by and I began to grow desensitized to the eight-legged squatters. It took waking up to a puffy face with eyes swollen shut to permit any action. The trail of spider bites along my neck finally convinced them to call an exterminator, who needed to spider bomb the apartment. Twice.
On the flip side, the most beautiful apartment I ever lived also came from a grooming job. I didn’t know any other (non-equestrian) 22-year-olds who had a walk in closet, laundry in unit and even a housekeeper, and at the same time got to travel the world with zero expenses.
Neither of those things are really the point. I didn’t complain about the spiders (or the roaches, I should mention they roomed with me too) because I loved going to work and riding first thing in the morning too much. I also didn’t use the walk in closet since I didn’t have any civilian clothes, and our long hours meant we were hardly home anyways. And when in Rome, you don’t get to see much of it when you’re at the horse show all day.
The point is that many grooms simply love their jobs. It’s an alternative, yet interesting lifestyle with many an answer to the question, “why do they do it?”
Still, I wonder how different the industry would look if that question didn’t carry any negative connotations. Even if you have a tough character and don’t live life based on what anybody else thinks, it can be wearing when you’re perceived as unimportant, disposable and the bottom of the totem pole. If stigma wasn’t as pervasive, would it be less acceptable to house staff in roach-infested apartments? Would those ad listings start to disappear?
Not all professionals perpetuate the idea that grooms aren’t equal to everyone else, of course. But there is no denying that the undercurrent still exists in many stables.
Groom’s benefits are often synonymous with employer benefits
Now before you say but you’re lucky you get to ride and are provided with a housing and a car, stop complaining, consider a few things.
Housing is almost always provided because it’s on-site or close to the stable, that way someone is on call 24-hours and can do night check. Where you live is important to an employer’s ability to rely on you.
Riding is another reason equestrians might opt for a grooming role. It’s too expensive to do as a hobby for the larger demographic. So if it was out of the question growing up, chances are you don’t have enough ring experience to survive only as a rider, but do you have some talent. Grooming with flat riding can be the best way to get time in the saddle.
But it’s not just for yourself. If your client can’t make it to the barn, or your boss has too many horses on the docket for the day’s schedule, it’s helpful if you’re adept in the tack. That way the horses all stay in a proper exercise routine and won’t play catapult with their regular rider because they’re too fresh.
The farm cars are usually farm trucks, that can conveniently pull a trailer, because you can also do that.
When these conditions are good, it can be a great experience—and I’m grateful for the times it was for me.
I’ve had employers make efforts to let me ride more, teach me, or even show their horses because I’ve expressed it was important to me. I’ve been given time off when it was needed and welcomed back without bitterness at a moments notice. The countless afternoons of laughing together while grazing horses in the sunshine will never be lost on me, and I hope I’ve thanked everyone who made those days my reality.
So, how do we make sure someone like the little boy in New York doesn’t become the person who won’t acknowledge their groom with a ‘thank you’ when their boots are being toweled?
Well, I think we keep talking about it. We continue praising the clients and professionals who give their grooms the respect, tools and conditions to succeed, and we do our best to denounce those who don’t make the effort uphold the same standard.
At the end of the day, no matter your role, we’re all here because we love our horses and want to give them the very best. There’s dignity in that.
