Sound Like the Socialite You Were Never Born to Be

Not a socialite? Welcome to the non-exclusive club!

Sure, you may never reach “I attend parties and shop for a living” status. And okay, drinking champagne from a crystal flute while being hand fed caviar probably isn’t in the cards for you. You may never lower your designer spectacles and tell Julio to “bring ’round the Bentley.” Or acquire that posh foreign-tinged accent of the well travelled.

But for one week, every year, you can talk the talk of a walk the 99 percent are never destined to walk—and actually mean it!

That week? The Hampton Classic Horse Show, of course. Eight days of fun-filled, family-centric, horse showing good times that will arm you with the type of conversational quips and curated name dropping normally reserved for the wealthy elite.

Let’s begin!

“Last weekend? Oh, we spent it at a charity event in the Hamptons.”

*Sips champagne*

©Priscilla Degan

“The last time I saw Mary-Kate Olson…”

[insert literally anything]

©Richard Lewin

“Well, Brooke says the Longines Equestrian watch is just to die for!”

(It was that or “Is getting this photo something you’re prepared to die for?!” It was hard to read her lips from outside the tent.)

©Richard Lewin

“Can I just say, Carrie Bradshaw has gotten a lot more subdued in her fashion choices of late.”

Also, Big looks shorter IRL.

“If it’s not in the Hamptons, can you even call it a ‘summer party’?”

Cucumber sandwich, anyone?

©Lenny Stucker Photography 2016

“Jessica recommended the terrier mix, so naturally my husband was all for it.”

*dramatic eye roll*

©Priscilla Degan

“That’s hot!”

No, really. Who even wears a sport coat in August?

©Liz Soroka

“Well, ever since Georgina had that little chat with the girls, it’s been rescue this and family-pig that.”

Imagine!

“Last season, the whole town ran out of Rosé! It was madness!”

*Downs entire flute of champagne*

And that’s only the beginning! Just imagine the stories you could tell once you brush shoulders with the Hampton glitterati. (I bumped into [insert celebrity] this weekend!) Or drop in ~~unannounced~~ at a local party. (Diddy really does have the nicest home!).

The take away message here: You don’t have to be a socialite to sound like one. (You do, however, have to make an appearance at the Hampton Classic horse show at some point between August 27 and September 3. For charity, obvi. See you there, dah-ling!)