October 26, 2015 
There are many things that adult amateur riders spend time worrying about. We worry about getting a good distance. We worry about staying on course. We worry about limiting the number of times our trainer needs remind us to “SIT UP!” and add “MORE LEG!” to three or four a lesson (after that, you know he gets a little cranky).
With all this worrying, it’s sometimes difficult to hear yourself think, let alone ride like a human being in the show ring. So we’re going to help you prioritize. Here are seven things adult amateurs should stop feeling guilty about this instant.
1. You missed a lead change.
“Men are like lead changes; the first one doesn’t work out, catch the next one.” We’d like to believe George Morris said that, but we could have just as easily made it up ourselves (we did). Either way, even George would probably agree that if you miss your lead change, shake it off and keep riding. The more you wallow, the worse off you’re going to be. And as on-course crises go, this is not the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. If it is, you’re lucky. Or you’re Jessica Springsteen.
2. You were on the wrong diagonal.
“Right” and “wrong” are relative terms in the show ring, even when it comes to diagonals. Perhaps you were concentrating on collecting for the corner, and lost track of your posting, but quickly corrected yourself. Maybe you proudly beamed up at the judge as you posted to the beat of your own drummer all the way down the long side of the arena—and were totally baffled as to how you placed last in the class. Either way, no harm, no foul. You’ll get ’em next time, champ.
3. You got scared.
Give me a longtime rider who says he’s never been scared on a horse, and I’ll give you 15 more to call BS on that person. Like almost all things that are worth doing, riding comes inherent with some degree of risk. It’s not always easy to have courage, but beating yourself up about it only makes things worse (plus, it’s probably driving your horse nuts).
4. You think your horse should be doing more than he’s doing.
To steal a line from our hero, Denny Emerson, “Do you really think your horse cares for one fractional nanosecond how many blue ribbons he wins, or that he sits at night worrying about how you destroy his dreams of winning a USET gold medal?” Your horse wants good care, green grass, and a fair, conscientious rider. Give him a carrot and get over his “wasted” future. He already has.
5. You don’t really want to ride without stirrups. Like, ever.
When you were a junior, a very long, long time ago, you went for months without stirrups, gamely jumping around 3’6″ courses fueled by nothing more than teenage foolishness and a dream. But those days are over now (thank God). Your trainer may suggest that some no-stirrup work could help to up your game. But if spending a lifetime with your feet planted squarely in your Herm Sprengers is your idea of time well spent, you won’t hear us complain. (We can’t speak for your trainer though.)
6. You’re wearing knock-off tall boots.
Shhh it’s fine, we are too. You don’t have to tell anyone. Or better yet, you could always ride better than everyone else in your class and then nobody will be looking at your boots—or your off-colored breeches, or your no-name helmet brand—you get the idea. Find something else to sweat over.
7. You chipped…everywhere.
Missed distances in the hunter ring are like actual potato chips. Once you have one, you can’t stop eating them, and they’re guaranteed to make you feel terrible the next day. Keep dwelling on all the chips you’ve had, and pretty soon you’ll find you’ve downed the whole bag. Instead, listen to your trainer: sit up and canter to the next fence. Today, you chipped. Tomorrow, you’ll get back on your diet, and maybe find a distance or two as well.
