Show Jumping

Emanuel Andrade Stars In Split Rock Jumping Tour, the Fictional Sitcom

If Emanuel Andrade ever wanted to create a sitcom about show jumping, he need look no further for inspiration than the string of horses he’s showing at Split Rock Jumping Tour in Ohio this week.

Because his horses’ names? They’re the stuff that wacky Hollywood casts are made of.

Let’s start with Jenni’s Chance. It’s both the horse that Andrade won Wednesday’s 1.40m jumping class with at the Columbus International I CSI2* and an ideal working title for a slapstick comedy about an aspiring young show jumper with oversized dreams.

Then there’s Gran Mamut, the horse he rode to second place finish in the same 1.40m class. In the show (that Andrade has never before mentioned), she’s a quirky but wise mother figure with a penchant for chewing tobacco.

For the supporting cast we turn to the six mounts the Venezuelan rider showed in the 1.30m class at Brave Horse Show Park. Benita, the mare he rode to took a second place finish, is our protagonist’s street smart Spanish BFF and one of three sisters. Dreambrina is the beautiful but perennially spacey one. Cortina, her bookish doppelganger.

Filling the role of love interest, we have Garinco van de Lijnsaerd. The horse finished three hundredths of a second ahead of barn mate Joli Jumper in the 1.30m class with Andrade. In the sitcom, he’s a foreign working student with a sexy accent and natural feel for horses who competes for her affection against Jenni’s childhood friend, Joli. (His parents were hippies.)

Naturally, our romantic rivals need an unofficial love advisor. For that role we have Andrade’s Freestyle 3. The horse finished 11th in the 1.30m class. In the never-to-air-tv-show, he’s a local hip hop star/21st Century version of The Fonz.

Last but not least, there’s Quilina VD Laarseheide Z. At Split Rock, the horse jumped double clear in the 1.20m class to finish seventh with Andrade. In the show, she’s the wacky Dutch barn owner who always appears in her housecoat and slippers to complain about the weather and the performance of the American show jumping team.

Confused? Stay tuned for the pilot!

JK.

But you can watch Andrade’s winning round in the 1.40m class aboard this post’s muse, Jenni’s Chance.