Satire

Rider Delighted to Learn She Can Make Up to $7,000 a Month From the Comfort of Her Own Barn

PASADENA, CA—A California woman was thrilled to discover that she could make nearly $7,000 a month selling equine self-care products from the comfort of her own barn.

Debbie Harry, the proud owner of Pickles, a 14-year-old palomino Quarter Horse, reported that she sold $6,890 in products for the Equileuca Horse Care & Wellness company during the month of August alone.

Harry said she embraced a diverse and multi-tiered marketing approach that included Equileuca barn parties for friends and coerced minor acquaintances; a series of vaguely menacing YouTube tutorials and unboxings; and a round-the-clock barrage of livestreamed Facebook and Instagram videos featuring Pickles, leading his best, Equileuca-sponsored life.

The Pasadena-based horse owner added that it was easy to get behind a brand that was so aligned with her own health and wellness values.

“All of Equileuca’s horse care products are bleach, ammonia, BPA, GMO, phosphate, sulfite, UV, and gluten-free—meaning I don’t have to worry that I’m compromising Pickles’ health with ingredients I didn’t know or don’t understand on the label,” said Harry.

She noted that the gelding’s favorite products in the line are the Pony Passion Fruit© Hair Wash®; the Soothing Chamomile Hoof, Frog, and Sole Strengthener©; and the customized Equileuca Muzzle® Moisture© Mask™—which Pickles frequently demos on cross-ties during his weekly Thursday afternoon livestream. 

“Pickles just loves his Muzzle® Moisture© Mask™!” Harry gushed. “The fact that it leaves his nose clean, soft, and his whiskers fully conditioned is just an added bonus. What it’s really about is taking time out to make that time for him. So often, as owners, we forget that horses have self-care needs too. I know my horse will perform better in the show ring if he feels confident and happy in his own skin.

“At Equileuca, we like to say, ‘It’s all about the end game, #EnhancingLives!’—horse lives, human lives—and that’s why I do what I do.  

“That I can make a living at home in my own barn, selling what I love, with the horse that I love, for a company that I love… that’s just the icing on the cake!”

Editor’s Note: Shortly after press time, Ms. Harry called to report that she would be taking a short hiatus from her weekly YouTube and livestream spotlights after Pickles stepped on and broke her foot in three places while live on the air demoing Equileuca’s latest, Fuss-Free Forelock© Leave-In Conditioner®. We at Horse Network wish Ms. Harry a speedy recovery.