I have always enjoyed teaching.
Every day that I walk into the ring, I get excited that I can help someone get better and that I can become a better teacher. I can become more aware of how to phrase things, what to tell people, when to be encouraging, when to be strong.
A little bit of it is trial and error—many times it’s what you don’t say that can help a student.
But, as a coach, figuring that out is half the job.
And if you pay attention—through spectating, through asking questions, through watching other coaches and videos on the internet, through listening to your students—you never stop learning how to do it better. I always tell people: the schooling ring at horse shows is a free lesson if you’re paying attention.
And I try always to pay attention.
Two years ago, I was watching a video on WeRideTogether.Today, and it really hit home the role that trainers and coaches in all sports play in shaping athletes—how badly the student wants to please their coach, how much they look up to their coaches.
That was a lightbulb moment for me.
Hearing it from a student’s side changed how I approach my role as coach.
It made me more aware that everyone wants to get better. No one is making errors for any reason other than it’s hard. It’s hard to get on a 1,200 pound animal, guide them around a course and make it look effortless.
And every rider has different struggles.
Those struggles may come in the show ring. They may come outside the show ring. They may come in the barn. It can be pressure they put on themselves. Pressure they feel that their parents put on them. Pressure from peers.
It can be pressure they feel from their coach.
Because the coaches have frustrations too! We know what this costs for students to train and compete. We know that in any sport the time and financial commitment can be exorbitant. We have pressure to deliver results for our students and that can affect how we teach.
So remembering that, after watching that video, it’s changed the way I view my role. It has made me a better.
I hold myself to a higher level now.
It has made me a better listener, a more compassionate teacher. It has helped me remember how hard my students are trying and that I need to keep my emotions in check— understanding and accepting that there are moments of frustration from the student and from the trainer.
And that’s when you need to take a deep breath, step back and say, hold on, I need to do better.
I’ll give you an example.
I had one student that if it went poorly in the show ring, she’d want to react right away. The mindset of learning and taking in information was blind for about a minute when she came out of the ring. Her arguing would turn into my arguing and when I’m arguing I’m going to win and that’s not good.
So I changed my approach. I gave her a moment to regroup and settle.
She’d come out of the ring and I’d say, “Why don’t you go for a little walk?” Because one lap in the schooling ring allowed her to settle a little bit and allowed her to receive information versus argue about it.
And that made all the difference. For both of us!
By taking that moment to pause, I could see that it’s really just frustration. I mean, it’s all the emotions. You’ve got the horse show, you’ve got your barn mates, you’ve got the judge, you have your parents. There’s a lot of pressure.
So now I make a conscious effort to do that when a moment of frustration comes up. Take a beat to regroup, settle, shake it off. But take that moment to pause and think about it, then react.
If everyone does that a little bit in the equestrian community, teaching improves. Horsemanship improves. Athlete/coach, athlete/parent relationships, it all improves.
And it’s something that we can all do better.
In the past ten years, we’ve come to better understand the role and the impact a trainer has on their student and the positive and negative effect that relationship can have. And that’s really important.
If we pay attention, it makes everyone better.
