Owning a horse is like having an addiction.

One is never enough and you frequently find yourself coming up with a series of outlandish excuses that justify the extortionate expense to your loved ones. However poor, tired and smelly they may make us, I have never yet heard any owner say they wish they never had horses with any real conviction.

Unlike other addictions, whatever they cost us in money and time they more than make up for in happiness. With that in mind, here is a selection of completely justifiable excuses reasons to add another equine member to your family.

The “I’m doing it for the horse” approach

1. “I needed to rescue him, he looked sad.”

2. “As soon as he looked at me we connected, I think he’s my soul mate.”

3. “When I walked away he neighed, he was definitely telling me to buy him.”

4. “His owner said we looked perfect together.”

©carterse/Flickr CC by 2.0

The “I’m doing it for my other horse,” (hereby known as Monty) approach

5. “Monty was getting lonely, he needed a new friend.”

6. “Monty was getting fat, another horse will eat all the grass.”

7. “Monty gets scared in the trailer, he needs another horse for moral support.”

8. “Monty is getting old; I need another horse to lighten his workload.”

9. “Monty gets bored out hacking on his own, he needs a friend to talk too on long rides.”

(flickr.com/Sera-Photography)

The “This is a valid, financially sound idea that will benefit us both” approach

10. “It’s a good investment. I will sell him on and double my money!”

11. “I will breed from her, it’s like two for the price of one.”

12. “Foals are sooooo cute and I was getting broody.”

13. “He can graze the lawn so we don’t need to buy a lawnmower.”

14. “Now we will never need to buy manure again!”

15. “He’s only a youngster, so I’ve saved money by buying him cheap now and producing him myself.”

©SMALLORBIGOFMEN/Flickr CC by 2.0

 

16. “Empty stables are a waste of space. I’m just maximising my barn’s potential.”

17. “All that time wasted standing around at shows, I might as well take two and keep myself busy.”

18. “Think of him like a spare, in case the other one breaks.”

19. “Paying for lessons is extortionate, I should definitely buy my own.”

20. “I bought him for you, dear, so we can ride together.”

21. “He goes barefoot and he’s fat so he will cost practically nothing to keep.”

The “comedy as distraction” approach

22. “I wanted one like in the Lloyds TSB/Budweiser advert.”

23. “His face made me smile.”

24. “She’s called Milly, that’s my favourite ever name.”

25. “I’ve dreamt of owning a Palomino since I was a child.”

26. “My spiritual leader saw it in a tea cup.”

27. “The sun suddenly shone through the curtain on his advert, I think it’s destiny.”

28. “Learning two dressage tests will improve my memory.”

29. “You know I get irrational on Thursdays.”

©Katherine Mustafa Photography/Flickr CC by 2.0

30. “I’m having a midlife crisis.”

31. “It’s the menopause, dear—the wonky hormones made me do it.”

32. “My great Uncle Percy always said blue roans were a lucky colour.”

Think you’ve got a better reason? Please share in the comments below and give a fellow crazy horse addict a laugh today.


About the Author

After 10 years working as a competition groom all round the world Becky has now taken a step back to care for ex racehorses part time while she pursues a new career in Equestrian and Adventure sports Journalism.