Horse Play

11 Things I Look for in a Horse (and a Man)

Turns out, the things I look for in a horse are disturbingly similar to what I look for in a man…

1. Athletic

beckham_athletic

I’m just sayin’, a few toned muscles never hurt anyone.

2. Stamina

beckham_stamina

Let’s be honest, I’m not perfect so I’m probably going to need two rounds.

3. Confidence

beckham_confident

I have a lot of insecurities that you both are going to need to help me overcome, ok?

4. Takes a good picture

beckham_takeagoodphoto

As a general rule, I don’t take a good picture* so I need my horses and men to doubly compensate for this.

5. Low maintenance

beckham_lowmaintenance

If we could all try not to get sick or injured that would be super.

6. Available

beckham_available

No sense falling in love with a man or a horse when the seller isn’t selling.

7. Well-defined haunches

beckham_haunches

For, reasons…

8. Good personality

beckham_goodpersonality

No explanation needed here.

9. Forgiving

beckham_forgiving

I’m likely going to put my horse and man in several compromising positions, hopefully both know how to take a joke.

10. Nice manners

beckham_manners

Shouldn’t bite or kick me…maybe just a little biting…ok, some biting is fine.

11. Big heart

beckham_goodheart

Yeesh, look at me getting sappy in my old age.

*Editor’s note: The photo below suggests Heather might need to get her eyes checked.


heather struthers and roseAbout the Author

Heather Struthers runs Ontario’s hippest tack shop, Performance Horse & Rider and writes about important issues like datingpretend boyfriends and Scott Brash.

File Under