Horses as Pets. Horses as Athletes.

Horse owners get a lot of questions from curious “outsiders” about horse ownership, horses themselves, and the “bond” between horse and rider. I am frequently asked if my horses are my “babies” and if I love them because we have this “magical bond”. The person asking invariably has a dreamy, hopeful look in their eyes, telling me they want an answer that allows them to continue believing it is just like My Little Pony.

Defining my relationships with my horses to a non-horse-addict is extremely difficult because there is no other relationship in my life that it resembles.

After much thought, I’ve realized there are two basic kinds of relationships with horses and a spectrum in between.

1. Horses as Pets

My first horse, Sadia, was a pet. I adored her, groomed her endlessly, cooed to her and, at the time, believed she liked me. She may have, but I now think she liked being spoiled and given food a lot more than she enjoyed my company. That being said, it was a valuable step on the path to becoming a competent horseman. I learned a lot about nutrition, tack, and recognizing what a horse is actually communicating. For instance, I thought that when she jumped and kicked out while I lunged her, she was having fun. Oh no, no mon frère! That was sass (which I still kind of find endearing for some stupid reason). She was showing me her rear, kicking at me, flagging her tail…basically telling me to go screw myself. After she expended enough energy telling me to go screw myself she would calm down, I would get on, almost immediately she would get me off, and I would wonder why.

We did eventually learn to communicate effectively and enjoy casual riding together. For some, this is the goal with a horse. People who have horses as pets focus more on relationship building on the ground and look at their horses as emotional therapy. My competitive and goal oriented personality did not allow me to stay in this vein for long, but I know it is very rewarding and fulfilling for many of my two-legged friends.

2. Horses as Athletes

My next step was the beginning of the end of having a pet horse; I became utterly addicted to the sport of Endurance Riding. My first horse was a beautiful, well-built animal, however she was not suited for endurance. She was born with a leg that was crooked and though it straightened enough that she had no issues, with her long term wellbeing in mind I did not want to take the chance of pushing her into a lifetime of lameness. Additionally, all those cues I didn’t pick up on initially had resulted in broken bones, bulging disks and a lot of fear that needed to be worked through. I realized that although I love(d) her, we simply were not a good match for sports. She now enjoys being spoiled rotten as a broodmare.

I began riding one of my trainer’s mares and my love affair with horses was born anew. DB Fatima, aka Burni, was a horse that needed an advanced rider but was patient enough to deal with me until I figured it out. I spent a great deal of time in lessons and on the trail with my trainer, Sarah Sanders, getting Burni fit for endurance and learning how to stay out of her way. The strong, strong mutual bond that I eventually developed with her was not formed quickly and it did not involve an effervescent-floaty-whimsy feeling. It was hard won and worth every single moment.

Burni and I learned to trust, read and understand one another. Most importantly, we respected each other very much. This is by far the most meaningful bond I have experienced with any animal (even my puppies, who are my babies). In his movie “Buck”, Buck Brannaman talks about becoming “one with the horse”, and how once you have experienced that feeling you will spend your whole life trying to experience it again. I can vouch for that. We moved and breathed as one. This would never have happened had Burni and I not become partners, had we not reached a relationship built on mutual respect rather than one-sided adoration.

I’ll be honest, I do adore Burni. I cannot help myself, but the foundation of that is total admiration for the athleticism, intelligence and heart she has as an equine competitor; as my partner. Burni would take risks for me, push hard along with me and we adventured together. We were able to do this because I earned her trust.

When people ask me about my bond with my horses it really depends on the horse and what we are working on at that time. My five year old gelding, Yadid (yes, I know the name is weird, but he knows it so I don’t care) and I are just starting our endurance training together. Although I can’t say we are partners in the same way as Burni, I can say that he is not a pet and I do not have some whimsy bond because I think he is pretty. I will invest the time and energy again and hopefully, we will be able to achieve a rich bond of mutual respect and trust.

Me and ‘Yadid’

About the Author

Joanna Mosley began riding at the age of 31 although she had wanted to ride horses since she was two years old. She competes in endurance in the AERC Midwest Region and schools hunter/jumper, riding Desert Bred Arabians.