March 18, 2016 
1. “The horse does all the work.”
Want to get stabbed in the eye with a fork? Say these six little words to a horse girl and watch her love for you grow. Into a sputtering rage of hater aid.
2. “You must have a rich daddy.”
Riiiiight, because it’s completely implausible that a woman of any age might be able to afford a horse on her own. Excuse me while I punch you in the face. (Side note: if I did happen to have a rich daddy, a) props to me and b) I’m still going to punch you in the face.)
3. “You’re, like, obsessed with your horse.”
No sh*t, Sherlock! Horse girls are stalker-level obsessed with their horses. That’s how we earned the whole “horse girl” moniker in the first place. Pointing it out is like commenting on rain being wet or that the sky is blue. Thanks for the insightful observation?
4. “It’s *just* a horse.”
Okay. We’re going to pretend you didn’t just say that because someone is going to get seriously hurt. And by “someone,” I mean you.
5. “You ride horses? What else are you good at riding… [wink, wink]”
Oh, hey. Were you trying to hit on a horse girl with that line? Because it’s so original and witty and didn’t at all make her want to barf in her mouth. Enjoy your life, Romeo—alone.
6. “Horse girls are like crazy cat ladies with more money.”
Sigh. You know what, there’s a kernel of truth to that statement. We know it. You know it. But only one of us is allowed to joke about it. And that’s not you.
