Chances are, your farrier is a nice, even-tempered individual with hardly a bad word to say about anyone. Or, maybe he’s a mostly nice, easy-to-bribe-with-cookies, occasionally grumpy but always good for a prime bit of gossip-type individual, and that can be even more fun. But no matter how nice your farrier is (or isn’t), we can say this for sure: he’s probably pretty sick of hearing barrels upon barrels of malarky about how to do his job from his “expert” clients.

And if your farrier weren’t such a nice guy, there are a few things he’d probably like to say back. Things like this.